Week 6 ArenaFan Dubious Distinctions of the Week

Adam Markowitz
Monday May 10, 2010

Every week in the Arena Football League, there are plenty of moments that just make you go, "Whaaaaaat?" Here at ArenaFan, we are continuing our new weekly column in which we hand out our ever-so-precious "Dubious Distinctions" of the week.

But before we begin, I feel the need to address an email that I received from a nameless fan based on this article from last week.

This fan very appropriately pointed out to me the fact that the Arena Football League is a league that is in dire need of positive PR and more solid pieces of journalistic work. He/she thought that my work was "irresponsible" and that it was unnecessary to point out the flaws of individuals in this sort of light, as it was only promoting negativity in the league.

For those of you that have read my writing here at ArenaFan for years, you know that I don't pull punches. I'm not some corporate dude in a suit that is constantly spitting rays of sunshine out of his butt. I'm a fan, just like all of you are. And even though as a member of the media, I don't rant and rave at games (much) to remain professional, I still bleed black and red and love this game as much as all of you do in the stands and watching at home.

An article like this isn't meant to belittle the league. It is meant to be nothing more than a little piece of hilarity in an otherwise normally humorless organization. If there is anyone that is offended by such comments, I offer my apologies.

And now... the moment that you all have been waiting for... The Week 6 Dubious Distinctions!

The Sparky McEwen Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week: Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz Head Coach Sparky McEwen successfully ran the Grand Rampage into the ground for three seasons, finishing 13-35 and drawing the ire of many across the state of Michigan. This award will be handed out to the head coach who displayed the most ineptitude for the week. And the award goes to...

Jon Norris, Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings: I'll bet you want to have this one back, coach! After his kicker, Art Carmody botched four extra points, Norris decided that it would be a good idea with an 79-75 lead to try kicking a 22 yard field goal with less than 20 seconds to play. Even a made field goal would only put you up seven, and Oklahoma City most likely would've tried to score a touchdown and go for two to either win or lose in the dying seconds. Go for the touchdown. If you get it, the game's over. If not, you kill some more time on the clock, give the Yard Dawgz iffy field position, and you try to play some defense for three or four plays. Instead, WR Timon Marshall brought the missed kick back 56 yards for the game winning score. When you get outcoached by Sparky McEwen, you definitely deserve the Sparky McEwen Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week.

The John Dutton Interception of the Week: Having thrown 92 interceptions from 2003-2008, the most by any player in the AFL, John Dutton can throw interceptions like none other. His timing for INTs is usually impeccable, as it often puts his team into a hole that it can no longer dig out of. This award will be given to the quarterback that makes the most costly interception of the week. And the award goes to...

Russ Michna, Chicago Rush: We could pick one of two blunders from Michna against the Milwaukee Iron on Friday night, but the one that we'll go with is the first pick six that really broke Chicago's back. With his team trailing by a touchdown with the ball, Michna threw an interception returned for a touchdown to DB Marcus Everett. It was all a part of a scoring run for the Iron that saw them outscore the Rush 64-35 in a span of two and a half quarters. Round 1 of this Midwest Division battle went to Milwaukee, and fans in Chicago can thank their quarterback for throwing the interception of the week for it.

The Choke Job of the Week, presented by the Dallas Desperados: No team in AFL history successfully figured out how to choke more often down the stretch when it counted most than the Dallas Desperados. In spite of the fact that they arguably had some of the most talented teams that ever played indoor football, they never even advanced to an ArenaBowl thanks to countless choke jobs. This award on their behalf is given to the team that does the best job of putting its own hands around its throat at an inopportune time. And the award goes to...

Dallas Vigilantes: How on earth do you take a two stop lead on the Orlando Predators and lose by two scores??? Somehow, the Vigilantes found a way to pull off the feat and let the Predators continuously run up and down the field on them for 70 points when the dust settled. Good for HC Pat O'Hara on logging his first win as a head coach in the AFL, but geez, Dallas... you were supposed to be good this year, right? HC Rich Ingold had better get ready to have some hardware put on his shelves, as it's only a matter of time before he gets one of the dubious coaching awards. For now though, his 1-3 Vigilantes are the team earning the choke job of the week.

The Bill LeMonnier Blown Call of the Week, sponsored by ArenaBowl XXII: ArenaBowl XXII had some of the most questionable officiating in it that anyone has ever seen. The number of times that Bill LeMonnier announced a penalty or a call against the San Jose SaberCats was uncountable. In LeMonnier's honor, we call out the official that made the worst call of the week. And the award goes to...

Kevin Stine at the Tampa Bay/Jacksonville Game: Once again, Kevin Stine and his crew strike again, but this time, the entire world saw it. In the first quarter of the duel between the Sharks and Storm, QB Brett Dietz threw a pass that was very clearly interfered with by a fan dressed in a red shirt who reached over the boards and onto the field. The ball bounced off the top of the wall and was intercepted by Jacksonville. Clearly, fan interference should've been called and the ball should've remained with Tampa Bay. Instead, Jacksonville scored on the next drive, and the Storm never really fully recovered. There's still no excuse for the Storm not winning the game, as they had plenty of chances to pull it off, but this call was as bad of a blunder as I have ever seen in this league. After the game, I asked HC Tim Marcum what he saw on that play. He responded with, "What did you see?" I told him that I was fairly sure that I saw a fan touch the ball, and he agreed, and then echoed, "We've got some refs out there that are still learning the game." My, oh my, is he right! Make more room on your mantle, Stine. With calls like that one, you'll have plenty of Bill LeMonnier awards to display by the time this season is over.

Tim Marcum Presents the ArenaFan Second Guessin' Award: In a quote several seasons ago, Tampa Bay Storm Head Coach Tim Marcum said, "We leave the second guessin' up to those guys over at ArenaFan." With that being said, second guess we will! This award goes to the player or coach who deserves to be second guessed the most for a decision that he made that cost his team a game. And the award goes to...

Mike Hohensee, Chicago Rush: I'm not going to sit here and say that Chicago not electing to kick a field goal on the final play of the first half really cost it the game on Friday night in Milwaukee, but the wheels really fell off of the Rush after Michna was sacked on the final play before the players headed into the dressing room. Milwaukee immediately came out and took the lead in the second half and never looked back. It may not have ultimately made the difference in the game, but we're definitely second guessin' Coach Ho's decision on that one.