ArenaFan Dubious Distinctions of the Week for Week 5

Adam Markowitz
Monday May 3, 2010

Every week in the Arena Football League, there are plenty of moments that just make you go, "Whaaaaaat?" Here at ArenaFan, we are beginning our new weekly column in which we hand out our ever-so-precious "Dubious Distinctions" of the week. Check out our awards for Week 5!

The Sparky McEwen Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week: Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz Head Coach Sparky McEwen successfully ran the Grand Rampage into the ground for three seasons, finishing 13-35 and drawing the ire of many across the state of Michigan. This award will be handed out to the head coach who displayed the most ineptitude for the week. And the award goes to...

Pat O'Hara, Orlando Predators: Good ol' P.O. still has yet to win his first AFL game as a head coach, and many, myself included, wonder why in the heck he decided to leave QB Nick Hill in the game against the Iowa Barnstormers the entire way. After all, Hill threw three interceptions and a few more than could've been picked off, and the Preds couldn't complete a pass more than five yards downfield if their lives depended on it. Hill finished the day 29/45 for 237 yards with four TDs and three interceptions. Glenn Gauntt couldn't have done much worse than this, right? So for bringing in Gauntt off the bench, O'Hara, you win the Sparky McEwen Bonehead Coaching Move of the Week.

The John Dutton Interception of the Week: Having thrown 92 interceptions from 2003-2008, the most by any player in the AFL, John Dutton can throw interceptions like none other. His timing for INTs is usually impeccable, as it often puts his team into a hole that it can no longer dig out of. This award will be given to the quarterback that makes the most costly interception of the week. And the award goes to...

Nick Hill, Orlando Predators: Nick Hill completed back to back passes to Tanner Varner in the first quarter of Orlando's nationally televised game against the Barnstormers. Just one little problem. Varner plays defensive back for Iowa. Following an ill-advised QB Ryan Vena interception, I looked over at one of my fellow writers on press row and said, "So how many passes until Hill gives..." as Varner was walking into the end zone for the first score of the game. Iowa went on to win 50-40 in the Jungle, leaving the Predators as the only winless team in the AFL. Your award for costing your team the game Mr. Hill, is the John Dutton Interception of the Week award.

The Choke Job of the Week, presented by the Dallas Desperados: No team in AFL history successfully figured out how to choke more often down the stretch when it counted most than the Dallas Desperados. Despite the fact that they arguably had some of the most talented teams that ever played indoor football, they never even advanced to an ArenaBowl thanks to countless choke jobs. This award on their behalf is given to the team that does the best job of putting its own hands around its throat at an inopportune time. And the award goes to...

Tulsa Talons: It's amazing to believe that a team can really lose back to back games with no time whatsoever left on the clock, but the Talons figured out how to pull the stunt off. Tulsa took the lead late in its game against the Jacksonville Sharks on Saturday night, leaving the hosts just 0:08 to work with and needing 19 yards to win. A pass interference called moved the ball to the nine yard line, where QB Aaron Garcia hooked up with WR Dallas Baker for the game winning score with zeros on the clock. It was Baker's fourth touchdown of the day. This trick came a week after the Talons lost in nearly the exact same situation against the Arizona Rattlers in Week 4. Any team that can pull that off is deserving of the Choke Job of the Week honors.

(Honorable mention to the Bossier Shreveport Battle Wings for pulling off a task that I figured was impossible: Losing to the Utah Blaze.)

The Bill LeMonnier Blown Call of the Week, sponsored by ArenaBowl XXII: ArenaBowl XXII had some of the most questionable officiating in it that anyone has ever seen. The number of times that Bill LeMonnier announced a penalty or a call against the San Jose SaberCats was uncountable. In LeMonnier's honor, we call out the official that made the worst call of the week. And the award goes to...

Kevin Stine at the Tampa Bay/Arizona Game: In a game that took three hours of our lives that we are never getting back thanks to 27 penalties (and those are just the accepted ones, mind you), it was a call that wasn't made that probably screwed the Arizona Rattlers out of a victory against the Tampa Bay Storm. WR JJ McKelvey was tripped up on the final meaningful play of the game in the middle of his route by two Storm defenders, and QB Nick Davila's pass fell incomplete, leaving Arizona to lick its wounds following a 62-61 defeat. If you're going to make every other call in the game refs, why not that one, too? Kevin Stine, you get the Bill LeMonnier Blown Call of the Week.

Tim Marcum Presents the ArenaFan Second Guessin' Award: In a quote several seasons ago, Tampa Bay Storm Head Coach Tim Marcum said, "We leave the second guessin' up to those guys over at ArenaFan." With that being said, second guess we will! This award goes to the player or coach who deserves to be second guessed the most for a decision that he made that cost his team a game. And the award goes to...

Kevin Guy, Arizona Rattlers: Alright, it's hard to blame the Rats' head coach for going for two and essentially the win in the dying seconds of the Tampa Bay/Arizona game on Saturday night because they were getting outplayed for most of the game and probably didn't want to engage in a crap shoot of an overtime period. But, since we're the home of second guessin', we're going to pin this one on Kevin Guy, who essentially rolled snake eyes on his two point attempt. Sorry, Coach. You may not have won the game, but at least you get the ArenaFan Second Guessin' Award.