You May be Right… (I May be Crazy)
Matthew Pickut
Saturday May 4, 2002
The Firebirds look to improve to a winning record this week as they take on the New York Dragons at the Fieldhouse. After two straight conference opponents, the Firebirds sport a 1-1 record and have the momentum after beating last year’s Arenabowl Champion Grand Rapids Rampage 49-43 in Grand Rapids last week.
The Firebirds have been up and so far, sometimes looking great (6 interceptions in two games), and sometimes looking pretty poor (tied for last in the league with 0 sacks, and tied for 13th in the league for scoring offense). In order to help those confused by such crazy fluctuations I thought I would help out by letting you know if you might be right or wrong when you think about the Firebirds.
You might be right if : you think that this will probably be a close game. The teams match up well statistically and neither team got of to a very good start this year. Both teams lost their pre-season and opening games, so each needs to prove themselves Saturday night.
You’re probably wrong if: you think that every game won’t be close this year. The Firebirds play six games this season against tough division opponents: Chicago, Grand Rapids, and Detroit. The remaining games do not look to contain any walkovers either, and without a bye week this year, any injuries will make things even more difficult.
 Raymon Philyaw and the offense aren`t putting up the points like years` past. Image courtesy of Kevin Sheller |
You’re probably wrong if: you think that Rodger Moore was a better 007 than Sean Connery. That said, neither of them would have fared very well inside the boards with out a lot of help from Q.
You might be right if: if you think that OS Eddie Brown will pass the 11,000 yard mark against the Dragons. He needs only 38 more yards to become the first AFL player to reach that plateau. That’s over six miles of passes, I could not run six miles if my life depended on it.
You’re probably wrong if: you thought I could spell plateau without a spell checker. Frankly, if I didn’t use a spell checker ArenaFan’s editors would have killed me by now (although Mary-Ann Karaganis did get in a few good smacks a couple weeks ago).
You might be right if: you think most of this year’s rule changes are good ideas that will help the league when it broadcasts on NBC next year. Letting a KR step on the end zone backline on kicks will improve the chance of getting kicks returned, making the change of possession a lot more exciting than just another touchback. In addition, last year the league allowed missed extra points to stay in play after a miss or block. The rules surround the extra-point made the tax code look simple – this year you can score only on a ball that gets blocked behind the line of scrimmage, making the rule a lot simpler to understand.
You’re probably wrong if: you think the rule about rushing on kicks didn’t replace the extra-point rules from last year as the league’s most confusing rule. The rule states: “For free kicks (field goals and PAT’s), there can be four down lineman (must be head up) with the offensive linemen (excluding center) and they may rush outside and twist.”
You might be right: if you think that the team’s choice of “Hooters” for the post-game party is questionable. At least last year at the Alcatraz Brewing Company you could walk in and not feel like you had to hide it from your wife. The AFL attracts a lot of young people, and a lot of women. And while I haven’t ever been a woman, I can only imagine that Hooters isn’t exactly high on most women’s list of places to go for a good time. Personally I’m not going to any place that promotes an activity that would be sexual harassment if you did it in the work place. For crying out loud, how can you even compliment your waitress without getting sued, what are you supposed to say, “Congratulations, I see you’ve reached puberty,” or “Hey, what a coincidence you have breasts. My wife has those too.”
You’re probably wrong if: you think its an excuse that the food is good at Hooters, if it was that good you wouldn’t have to use sex to sell it. Isn’t it just a little insulting to you guys out there that all Hooters thinks it takes to get you to spend your money is a girl in a tight shirt?
Matthew Pickut is a pastor in northern Indiana and a long time AFL fan. He also writes for his own website: The Brown Paper Blog. He graduated from Taylor University in Upland Indiana (class of `96) with degrees in Biblical Literature and Sociology as well as a healthy respect for the medicinal properties of coffee.
