'Twas the Night before Christmas
Adam Markowitz
Sunday December 24, 2006
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
The stockings were hung
By the TV with care
In hopes that a contract
Soon would be there
The coaches were nestled
All snug in their beds
While visions of championships
Danced in their heads
With players out of their uniforms
And refs out of their caps
They all settled down
For a long winter’s nap
When out on the message boards
Arose such a clatter
The fans sprang from the bed
To see what was the matter
Away to fire up Windows
We flew like a flash
Tore open Internet Explorer
And to ArenaFan we would dash
The news of the Ironmen
And the rules the league sow
Gave the luster of a new game
For the fans all below
When what to our wondering eyes
Should appear
But a new game in March
And new fans to drink beer!
With a big old driver
And a bunch of rule makers
I knew in a moment
It must be Commissioner Baker
More rapid than eagles
His teams they all came
And he whistled and shouted
And called them by name
On Rampage, on Predators
On Soul, and on Crush
On VooDoo, on Wranglers
On Blaze, and on Rush
To the top of the standings
By the start of the playoff ball
Now dash away, dash away
Dash away all!
As the calm that comes before
The eye of the Storm flies
The league meets with an obstacle
Mount to the skies
So up to the housetop
The teams they all flew
With the sleigh full of new players
And Commission Baker, too
And then in a twinkling
I heard from above
The grunts and the passion
Of the players we love
As we drew in our hands
And were turning around
Down the chimney the Commish
Came with a bound
He was dressed in a suit
From his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished
With ashes and soot
A bundle of new players
He had flung onto his back
And he smiled as his new players
Would even pack
His teams’ eyes how they twinkled
Their fans just how merry
Except when ESPN
Shows only that team from Philly
He was chubby and plump
A right jolly old elf
And I laughed when I saw him
In spite of myself
An interview on ESPN
And the words from his head
Soon gave us to know
The league had nothing to dread
He spoke only few words
But straight to his work he went
And filled all the stockings
With the gift requests that we sent
And laying his finger
Aside of his nose
And giving a nod
Up the chimney he rose
He sprang to his sleigh
To his teams he gave reason
And away they all flew
To prepare for the season
But I heard them exclaim
As the teams left our sight
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night!
Adam Markowitz is an accountant living in Orlando. Adam is an old school AFLer, having followed the AFL since 1991. He attended or covered well over 200 games, including 17 ArenaBowls. Adam worked for the Arena Football League for two years as a columnist and historian before retiring in 2017 when the 50-yard indoor war left the Sunshine State. Adam still muses about the AFL on ArenaFan from time to time, and you can follow him on Twitter @adammarkowitzea.
