Party... err... Parity Dominates League
Dan Ryan
Wednesday July 11, 2001
Confused? The scary thing is, I`m not. A weekend at the track, meeting Britney Spears, all the off-the-wall antics in the AFL and two mind-numbing nights covering a 5-10 WNBA team can do that to you. The one part of my creative process that hasn`t turned into mush should dissolve by the time you get down to the italics below.
We`ll skim the past racing real quick because as Kevmo once pointed out, this isn`t nascarfan.com. Here`s the skinny: Little E and Michael Waltrip celebrating in the Daytona infield was just too perfect. A great moment, a needed moment, but too perfect. No it wasn`t fixed, but the fact that everything was tied up and packaged better than a Happy Days episode didn`t do a thing for me. My emotional moment was Kevin Harvick winning with Dale Sr.`s repainted and renumbered car at Atlanta in just the third race
(numerology anyone?) after the Daytona 500.
Oh yeah, Britney Spears. I pity the cow that sacrificed its life so she could wear the Elvis-like jumpsuit. I feel for the security people who said they had less trouble with a future president last year than this entourage. And besides that, Arrington could take her two out of three.
Now to the reason we`re all here, which is the utter mess that is the 2001 Arena Football playoff situation.
Somewhere in Orange County, Commissioner David Baker must be smiling because the "P" word now refers to parity instead of party. Let`s hope the smile is still there in August when Quad Cities beats the Florida Bobcats in the ArenaBowl.
No need to drudge through a Preds-Bobcats gamer, just reload the Milwaukee column and insert something about Craig Whelihan falling on his ass on the final play of the game in the third paragraph. Yeah, there wasn`t a Siaha Burley in the mix, but Cooper, Dell and this promising Junior Lord should be good enough to beat a 4-7 team.
Then we have the Bobcats, who I used to believe were the result of a deal between the AFL and the DEA to relocate all football players in the Witness Protection Program so they could still play and never be seen again. Behind Rickey Foggie, a New Jersey (see my point?) refugee, the Bobs are a respectable 5-7.
All the fun wasn`t in Ft. Lauderdale, or Sunrise or whatever subdivision the National Car Rental Center is located. Consider:
* New Jersey beat Indiana. Worst record in the league beats best record in league. "On any given Sunday...``
* A .500 team scored 99 points. A division leader gave up 99 points to a .500 team.
* Milwaukee won again. Uh, guys, the season started in April.
* Buffalo didn`t hit rock bottom yet, but sure isn`t headed in the right direction.
* Tampa Bay found a new offensive combo. Forget Kaleo to Bowden. It`s Shane Stafford to Gunnard Twyner. Gunnard? Wasn`t he in Nelson?
You figure it out. I think I already have, but my logic is a little frazzled right
now.
Dan Ryan has been involved with all forms of arena football since 1988, including writing for ArenaFan when Joe Kauffman and Tim Capper aren’t killing his columns because they don’t get his jokes or perspective. His day job is at Bethune-Cookman University, which has produced both an NFL Hall of Famer (Larry Little) and an Arena Football Hall of Famer (Stevie Thomas) and his hobby is tracking how many f-bombs Adam Markowitz drops in the chat room on game nights.
