ESPN and AFL Need to Lighten the !&$# Up
Adam Markowitz
Saturday April 12, 2008
Someone forgot to tell the guy with the dump button about the so called “wardrobe malfunction” during halftime of Super Bowl XXXVIII. Supposedly no one saw this coming, but let’s be real. Everyone saw this one coming.
Memo to ESPN: Don’t come back to Orlando. In last season’s home opener against the Los Angeles Avengers, the residents of the Jungle had several choice four letter words for the officiating crew. The play-by-play and color commentating basically sounded as such. “Well the *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* plays by the *bleep* -do Preda- *bleep* *bleep* amazing!”
Let’s face it. Predator nation isn’t known as the kindest crowd in the world. After all, I’m sure that all of the hand gestures from the stands are cases where fans are waiving to the players on the field and the fans are asking all of the players in the opposing colors how their evening went. If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge in California to sell you.
Just this by itself should’ve set of bells and whistles for ESPN to perhaps avoid the friendly confines of the Jungle.
However, it wasn’t the occasional Bronx-style cheer that set off ESPN and the AFL, it was the behavior of Coach Jay Gruden that prompted the report that the AFL was warning the Preds coach for his foul language.
C’mon, let’s use some common sense here. Gruden is perhaps the fieriest coach in the AFL. As my father has said to me, if you give an arsonist a bomb, what do you think is going to happen? Coaches and players lose their temper from time to time. Everyone has a different way of handling it.
The mild-mannered Darren Arbet might pull an official aside and calmly ask him about a call that he thought was questionable. Tim Marcum might throw his hands in the air like a lunatic and ask if the official was blind. Gruden is perfectly capable of having a civil conversation, but in the heat of the moment, he’s not going to ask an official if he could calmly explain what he saw to him.
After Elton Patterson tore his right quadriceps trying to pump himself up before the opening kickoff, I just can’t picture our beloved Preds coach saying anything less than, “You stupid idiot.” I’m sure the words were more choice than that.
In a statement seen in April 8th’s Orlando Sentinel, AFL’s executive vice president of communications, Chris McCloskey admitted the flaw in the system. “Our broadcast staff and the ESPN production team should have caught it during the five-second delay, but unfortunately, our system did not work perfectly.”
All together now: DUH!!!!!
Some of the greatest managers and coaches in sports have all been caught using profanity. Bobby Cox, Lou Pinella, Bill Cowher, Bill Parcells, Phil Jackson… the list goes on and on. Turn on the World Series of Poker on ESPN and watch Phil Helmuth play cards. Turn on any soccer match and watch the managers on the sidelines and players on the pitch and tell me whether they’re all saints.
Just admit it AFL: ESPN screwed up. The guy on the dump button didn’t do his job. Don’t even try to pin this on Coach Gruden. You want these coaches and players that are put on microphones to act like they normally do so that fans can get an inside glimpse into the teeth of the game. This is who Jay Gruden is, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.
So in honor of Coach Gruden, I’ve got the following to say to the Arena Football League.
This is ridiculous Chill the !&%@ out!
Adam Markowitz is an accountant living in Orlando. Adam is an old school AFLer, having followed the AFL since 1991. He attended or covered well over 200 games, including 17 ArenaBowls. Adam worked for the Arena Football League for two years as a columnist and historian before retiring in 2017 when the 50-yard indoor war left the Sunshine State. Adam still muses about the AFL on ArenaFan from time to time, and you can follow him on Twitter @adammarkowitzea.
