The Guru and the Eight-Ball: AFL Preview
Adam Markowitz
Saturday February 23, 2008
Alas, the “AFLGuru” persona I have taken on as a posting handle here at ArenaFan hasn’t always exactly been spot on, but this year I am out to redeem myself! This season I will be writing a weekly column picking all eight games of the week against the spread.
For those that aren’t gambling-inclined, here’s brief lesson on “the spread.” Vegas lines makers decide who the favorite of the game is going to be and how many points they should win by. For example, in last year’s ArenaBowl, San Jose was a 7 point favorite over Columbus. Because the SaberCats won by more than the 7, they covered the spread. Should San Jose have won by fewer than 7 points, or if Columbus won the game, the Destroyers would have covered the spread.
In theory, it’s a 50/50 proposition which team covers the spread. You should have a fairly even distribution of underdogs that cover games and favorites that cover games (same goes for the home teams and road teams). To help prove this theory, I’m bringing back the infamous Magic 8-Ball to pick games against the spread with me (ok, it’s really a random number generator… 1 represents the road team, 2 represents the home team). However, I’m beyond confident that beating the 8-Ball will be a cinch, so I am challenging each and every reader of this column. We are going to have a weekly “Beat the Guru” contest on the message boards here at ArenaFan. If you dare to think that you can beat me, there will be a weekly thread. Anyone who beats me will be rewarded with AF Points, with an added bonus going to the best record each week.
As always, before I begin, I’m going to add my disclaimer. This information should be used for entertainment purposes only. Should you choose to actually lay real money on these games, that’s purely your choice, and neither I nor ArenaFan are responsible.
Now that that’s out of the way, I’ve decided that it’d be fun to see what a Magic 8-Ball thinks the 2008 Arena Football season is going to look like. In fact, the 8-Ball has already predicted the winner of every game on the schedule, and came up with the following standings as a result.
West
*San Jose 13-3
*Los Angeles 12-4
*Utah 9-7
Arizona 6-10
Central
*Colorado 11-5
*Chicago 9-7
*Kansas City 7-9
Grand Rapids 2-14
East
*New York 10-6
*Columbus 9-7
*Cleveland 9-7
*Philadelphia 6-10
Dallas 6-10
South
*Georgia 8-8
*Tampa Bay 7-9
Orlando 6-10
New Orleans 6-10
Uh-oh, Arizona… Looks like you’ll be refunding a lot of season ticket holders after the season according to the 8-Ball!
So Magic 8-Ball… who’s the champion amongst them all?
Round 1
Los Angeles beats Kansas City
Chicago beats Utah
Columbus beats Philadelphia
Cleveland beats Tampa Bay
Round 2
San Jose beats Chicago
Los Angeles beats Colorado
New York beats Cleveland
Columbus beats Georgia
Semi-Finals
Los Angeles beats San Jose
Columbus beats New York
Let’s give the 8-Ball a good shake for this one…. It says, “You will be mocked by those in blue and white.” Oh great…. Unless the Avengers are wearing those powder blue uniforms, congrats Columbus… I’m going to be buying a bunch of you Destroyers fans hand grenades on Bourbon Street after the game…
Geez, I hope I can do better than this! Here are the Guru’s standings that I know you’ve been so direly awaiting…
Central
*Chicago 9-7
*Grand Rapids 7-9
Kansas City 5-11
Colorado 4-12
West
*San Jose 13-3
*Los Angeles 12-4
*Utah 7-9
*Arizona 6-10
East
*Dallas 16-0
*Philadelphia 12-4
*Cleveland 6-10
Columbus 6-10
New York 4-12
South
*Tampa Bay 11-5
*Orlando 9-7
*Georgia 7-9
New Orleans 2-14
Round 1
Los Angeles over Arizona
Grand Rapids over Utah
Philadelphia over Cleveland
Georgia over Orlando
Round 2
Los Angeles over Chicago
San Jose over Grand Rapids
Tampa Bay over Philadelphia
Dallas over Georgia
Semi-Finals
San Jose over Los Angeles
Dallas over Tampa Bay
And my 2008 ArenaBowl champions are your Dallas Desperados, at a perfect 19-0 (here I go again with my outlandish statements…)!
It should be fun to look back at these standings throughout the year just to see how we’re doing. Good luck with your selections this season… You’re gonna need it going against the Guru!
Adam Markowitz is an accountant living in Orlando. Adam is an old school AFLer, having followed the AFL since 1991. He attended or covered well over 200 games, including 17 ArenaBowls. Adam worked for the Arena Football League for two years as a columnist and historian before retiring in 2017 when the 50-yard indoor war left the Sunshine State. Adam still muses about the AFL on ArenaFan from time to time, and you can follow him on Twitter @adammarkowitzea.
